I remember when we first met. Ahh your self titled debut was magic. 5 octave vocal range? Pop hits with a bluesy R&B feel? I was hooked. Indeed Mariah, I did have a vision of love.

Then daydream happened. Don’t think I wasn’t listening to that whole CD again after American Idol reminded me of ‘Always Be My Baby’. (David Cook! Woo!) In fact, I listened to it again today.

For some reason youtube doesn’t want me to share it….but here you go, if you are interested in sweet, sweet high school memories via the original: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-Ja_86HdPc

Your Christmas CD was a smash and ‘All I want for Christmas is You’ is still being played EVERYWHERE. Dare I say, it’s one of my favorite christmas melodies (Behind Guster’s – Donde Esta Santa Claus.)

But then a wrong turn was taken and somehow we ended up dangerously in a land called Glitter. There was no going back. You broke my heart, Mariah, and the VCRs (Dont act like you had a dvd of Glitter, folks) of people in countless homes. I think that was about the time you started referring to yourself as Mimi. Did that VH1 divas special get to your head?

I’ve stuck by you though. We all make mistakes, after all. But Mariah, E=MC2? Really? This wasn’t a joke? You have a song called Touch My Body talking about waist wrapping thighs and dirty videos on youtube! YOU MENTIONED YOUTUBE IN A SONG!!!?! Mariah. Oh wow Mariah. Your once powerhouse vocals are now just overproduced and over enunciated whisperings. What happened to the good ol’ Mariah who always provided a powerful hook and jammin bridge? Sigh.

Anyway. Still love you. Still going to listen to that daydream album like there is no tomorrow. But listen, I think it’s time we took a break and started seeing other people. It’s not you, it’s me. Well, actually, it is you after all.